Leading from Within Authentically with Meghan Shakar
We’ve been taught and/or experienced our own versions of what leadership looks like. We often have to unlearn and relearn new ways of being as a leader to stay true to ourselves, aligned with our values, and live a fulfilling life with integrity. In this workshop, the daring coach/consultant, Megan Shakar, will guide us through what being a values-based leader might look like for you. We’ll work together through intentional and thoughtful reflection on what we want for ourselves to lead authentically. Boo-yah!
Excercise: Integrity Meets Value
Grab a pen and a piece of paper and answer the following questions.
- How do you define leadership? What is a leader to you?
- Does your rhetoric support the reality of your company?
Your integrity hinges on whether your values-in-action agree with your essential values. When they do, you feel pride, when they don’t, you feel guilt.
— Fred Kofman
Alignment of Behavior + Your Values = Integrity
Within this context, on your piece of paper answer the following:
- What does value-based leadership look like?
- What is a leader?
- What does leading with integrity mean to you?
Values-Based Leadership
- Practice Self Reflection & Self Awareness: Specify to yourself the things you care about, striving to understand your values, likes, and dislikes to gain greater self-awareness through reflection.
- Have an Open Mind and take others’ perspectives: Being able to see situations from multiple perspectives with an open mind.
- Develop self-confidence & a growth mindset: Accept your own strengths and areas for development. Continually strive to be better.
- Be Humble: Never forget who you are, or where you came from. Having humility and taming our ego gives us perspective and helps us treat others with respect & kindness.
Me. We. Our. Grounding in our personal core values and The Lola Community Values
Start With Your Values
- Value: a person’s principles or standard of behavior; one’s judgment of what’s important in life.
Take a moment to reflect on your values – what most important to you?
- Examples: Humor, Focus, Peace, Authenticity, Adventure, Success, Harmony, Honesty, Growth, Empowerment, Full Self-Expression, Spirituality, Community, Respect, Creativity, Connectedness, Freedom to Change, etc.
Reflection Exercise:
- What is important about these values? Why do they matter to you?
- How do you honor these in your day-to-day lives? Where do they show up as a values-based leader?
- What gets in the way of you honoring those values? What gets you stuck?
- If I’m aligned to integrity and my values, I show up best when…
Lola Core Values:
- Personal Power – We embrace our personal power and opportunities to grow.
- We know that we are always growing, and we want to challenge ourselves to consistently grow. We also want to encourage each other on our journeys of growth, whether it is by sharing stories about our own experiences or holding ourselves accountable.
2. Radical Vulnerability – We practice and encourage radical vulnerability.
- Humans are complex and we feel a wide range of emotions. Instead of shunning these emotions or hiding them from others, we embrace them and show up as our full selves while encouraging others to do the same. This also looks like setting clear boundaries and identifying what we may need and asking for it.
3. Trust + Support – We foster trust and raise each other up.
- When in doubt, we assume positive intent. We hold ourselves accountable for our words and actions. As a community, it is important for us to learn together and work to be an inclusive and accessible space for us all. This can look like us calling each other in (not out) if we see harmful behavior, peer mentorship, and asking about boundaries.
4. Anti-Racism – We commit to being an anti-racist community and looking for a new way forward.
- In order to be a fully welcoming and inclusive community, we are committed to unlearning our biases, oppressive ideologies and learning better ways of moving forward both individually and collectively. This means that we lean into uncomfortable conversations and challenge our assumptions, roles, and behaviors.
Critic + CEO – What Keeps Us Stuck
“Most of us shame, belittle, and criticize ourselves in ways we’d never think of doing to others.”
— Brene Brown
Every. Single. Person. has their own version of an Inner Critic. Some call it a gremlin. Others a saboteur’s voice, or your shadow self.
Your inner critic is that nagging voice, the critical self-talk, that is defeating and exhausting. In many cases, it also could have helped you find success. For example, my inner critic is the voice that says, “I’m not good enough.” My inner critic values achievement and has always pushed me to be the best throughout my life.
Identifying your inner critic is crucial to help your own unlocking and how it may no longer serve you.
Your Inner Critic co-exists with your Inner CEO. The CEO is a compassionate and courageous version of yourself bringing you the wisdom of your own inner leader. It balances critical self-talk with self-compassion
Defining Your Inner Critic: When you think of your inner critic, imagine it as a character, a person, a being or a thing.
- What is this critic fond of saying to you?
- What has it allowed you to be, or not, in your life?
- If interviewed, what would it say its critical role in your life is?
- What does it say when you are joyous or in your element? What does it fear?
Defining Your Inner CEO: The Inner Leader that advocates and celebrates you.
- What is the compassionate and courageous part of you?
- Who do you look up to as a role model? What about this person inspires you? If interviewed, what would it say its critical role in your life is?
- What does it say when you are joyous or in your element? What does it fear?
- What is a meaningful representation of a wise leader you can call upon in times of doubt?
Bonus Exercise: Leadership Identity
Take some time to reflect on the following prompts using the knowledge you have gained in today’s exercise:
- Who am I as a leader, grounded in my values?
- I want to be remembered for….
- It matters to me because…
- I will do this by…
- What gets in my way of doing this…
- When I get stuck I will….
- And remind myself to…
